Solo Adventures....

I went out alone today...

Didn't find what I was looking for

but didn't get lost, you see?

guess todays theme...crunchy butter is the TRUTH.

the uncanny adventures...

Today I swear to you that if I told you everything that happened you would not believe me. Let's just say my friend and I were kidnapped, taken to the suburbs of Paris (under the guise of her performing - which she did and it was wonderful) where we were forced by this weird cult of older white French people (who were very kind) to watch a dvd of an Indian guy do a speech on finding your inner peace...

That wasn't even the kicker, although it should have been, then they brought out the guitars and sang songs for about an hour...then one of them decided that it would be funny to perform their song with a fake rasta cap on....there are no words.....

Random Musings...

Paris is an odd city. There are these moments of force intimacies because the everything is so tiny - the subway, the elevators, the apartments - and yet the people don't like to talk to one another. I'm not making this up - oh, also French people love to explain themselves. So I learned last night that french people have very closed societies, so many people only hang out with people they already know and rarely add new people. So if you're a foreigner it is very hard to become integrated - a lonely city as I expected....is New York so different though?

Last night I had my first taste of a night out in paris...it was wonderful. I had drinks across the street from the Louve - seriously...the mona lisa was across the street and downstairs??? Apparently the louve is under ground...we started in Saint - Paul where I learned how to take the metro....I was trying to get that french je ne se quio thing with the dressing. There is a rule written somewhere that everything is centered (if I hear chic one more time...) around BLACK....everywhere, black, scarfs, and knee boots....its a uniform.


Here are my new friends.

And trying to get home after a night out is trecherous!!! The metro closes down and then you can't get a frinkin cab. Everyone was outside just cussing in french. We finally started walking and I heard someone cussing in english -- so I ran over and was like you speak english??? Americans of course..."How do you get a frikin cab??" She had no idea and couldn't even get her hotel to call her one...dam - its going to be a long, cold, cobble stone impeded walk home.

Needless to say, we finally got one twenty minutes later and it was worth the wait. Our cab driver gave us a lecture on why french women were so horrible and I quote, "Why must they be in control? they have everything but, you know, the man parts!! Are they like that in New York?" he asked. I had to inform him, sadly, that they were far worse...sorry..its true. Then he gave us a lecture on how the mayor of paris was gay (we were driving pass his palace - it was that big) and then, pointing to a gay couple making out, he remarks, "You see that? Never! If god said you want to be God of the country, with much money, and many women? You also be gay I say no, no way. But its here (pointing to his forearm) its in your blood you know -- you can't just decide to be gay, you're born that way."

I ask you. You tell me. Is there any better way to end the night than with a genetic lesson by a french cabbie? Of course not and so on that note... this american in paris dragged her bottom inside.

1st day...

Jet lag is real.
French people are rude.
There is a store across the street where the chocolate is sitting on plates made out of chocolate.
heavon.....

How to get your seatmates into 1st class - A guide.

We will skip the long drawn out colorful descriptions of my elderly, beautiful Mexican (who had to use the double cane thing) seat mate and the 16 or 17 year old boy who was miserably stuck between us instead of sitting in the back with his family (read: his brothers and sisters who were the same age as him and, frankly, willing to carry on a conversation instead of grunting before they slid on their eye masks, ear plugs and other sundries to block out all signs of life...)

Yes, let's just jump into this. Right in the middle, shall we? Let start at the moment that I looked down on the beautiful brand new gray cowl necked sweater and noted that of all things I never expected to see was a huge red blob of throw-up on it as my first ha-looo bonjour to France.....

Yes, your's truly got sick on the plane after convincing herself that it was okay to have the beef -- I mean this is a European country right? -- and on top of that throw on the free, yes free, red wine. I drifted off after a gut deep laugh fest that is the act of watching "The Hangover" which I need to see again in the right frame of mind....I woke up to a very familiar, yet dreaded sensation....there was a cold sweat on my forehead and gentle waves of revulsion working their way from some ephemeral point in my stomach that I'm sure had some of that beef in charmoise sauce somewhere near it. So I woke up and began taking deep breathes hoping it would go away...I don't think there was anywhere 'convienent' to land in the middle of the ocean...And let me say this if their healthcare is anything close to the crazy efficiency with which they took care of the situation -- I'm moving. So the boy realized I wasn't making to the bathroom faster than I did, and before I knew it I was laying across 2300 bucks worth of seats with my head on the floor with the "I need to leave church early finger up" trying to get them to stop asking me questions for just a second.

I'm fine. I certainly got my full dollar out of those attendants, one was fanning me, another bringing me water....its almost funny -- no, the truth is that it is not funny at all. Seriously. Finally the really pretty goes...why don't you just go take care of this in the bathroom -- and thats my first cognizant memory of Gay Parie -- gray sweater, red blobs, and my finger down my throat.

And so it begins....

Yay to windows seats!! If only you could see how full this plane is and the (clears throat) melange of ... well, smells that are brought out by minimal air conditioning, a thin steel tube that is the plane and the nuclear strength stench that is encased underneath the home erectus' arm pit! Ugh! I should have splurged on the 16$ wine... and great I have no idea what the pilot is saying right now...
Adieu

Abortion Rights

If you haven't done anything as brave and proactive as writing a letter to your senator, like my friend Nancy, about your anger at the the conservative movements' attempt to limit womens' ability to control their own bodies -- then take your busy behind and click on the link and help add your voice to the masses over at Plan Parenthood! Then copy the link, email it to everyone you know and tell them to do it and then tell them to tell their friends as well.

http://www.ppaction.org/campaign/hcr09foc_pporg?qp_source=hcr09foc_afc3

We will not loose our freedom to say when, where and what happens to our bodies -- not on our watch!!!Dam it.

a quizzical question....

what if women (all sexualities) used their political power the way that the gay community uses theirs?

you're procrastination anyway -- click on the link, go ahead, click it....

http://www.salon.com/life/feature/story/index.html?story=/mwt/feature/2009/12/01/hirshman_women_gay_movement

i know right?

WTF****

So...
you know how google puts up ads in any tiny corner they can find to bring in more revenue to continue to secure their bohemoth identity? Well they looked over my blog entries and decided that I needed to see this one:

Black Women White Men
Specialists in Black White Dating Lifetime Profile, Free Chat Rooms
AfroRomance.com

uh. AFRO??? really?? afro...right. uhm. I, uhm, I guess plopping that on my screen is funny... I thought I was free of the "so who are you dating now? (aka dan sure would love some kids) and how come you and aiesha aren't with anyone conversation and you know I do weddings...." until next thanksgiving. Now my computer is judging me!!! seriously??!!!!

Hilarious I tell you. Hilarious.

Anyway, a bit of fun for the weekend....naked mole rats -- I'm down.

http://www.salon.com/life/broadsheet/feature/2009/12/03/cheetahs_vs_cougars