Op-Ed Columnist - Adults Only, Please - NYTimes.com

When I grow up, in twenty or thirty years, I plan on being able to express my views like this. Wonderful exposition on my personal frustrations with the current selfish and greedy political moment.

Op-Ed Columnist - Adults Only, Please - NYTimes.com

I told you so..."a sea of change in gender relations within marriage"

it isnt just black women who are struggling with the issue of the wage gap between men and women

it isnt simply that black men cant get it together

--

apparently men are struggling with defining what it means to be a man outside of gender (and class and race and sexuality) based reified economic and social segregation and dominance....

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/19/us/19marriage.html

update(1/20/10): A sea of change in gender relations across the world!!!!

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/18/world/europe/18iht-women.html?em

Oh boy Harry...

Isn't it okay to say that Harry Reid is a racist?

In the clear cut sense, no we can't say he (as an individual) is racist because racism is a structural societal value that determines class, i.e access to the 'life goods" - education, money, power. It means that one buys into the belief in the superiority of one race (white) over others (everyone else) and that 'belief' is built into who gets to go to which schools, who gets the promotion, who cops can regularly harass, etc.

We can easily say that he is a part of a society that is racist and that, although, he is an ally to equality that the [racist] sentiments are a part of who he is.

(Head cocked, bright yellow bulb)

Isn't it true that he was talking to, and about, the people whom Senator Obama would have to appeal to their votes. So wasn't he a racist talking to... racists? Aren't we the ones who are more comfortable around light skin blacks than dark skin? Are we more likely to talk to and desire to emulate a person who speaks proper English rather than....negro dialect??? I just fell into "tongue in cheek".

What the hell is 'Negro" dialect Harry? Broken English? That's racist. We don't want the dregs of mis-education to be inherently associated with African, Black and other Americans of Color -- who knows who 'Negro' actually refers to, I've never met one. While you are probably not 'an advocate of racism' and may not really believe that your "own race is superior to another" -- you most certainly get a bit too close to "the belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities" with the negro dialect comment for my own comfort.

But that's just the thing. I want people to stop pretending they aren't racist and say that they are and are trying to work on their particular contribution to keeping it alive behind the scenes. Then we could have a real (effective?) conversation about what racism is and the roles we all play in it, scrape it out of the hidden crevices and into the light where it will finally wilt from exposure. Then we wouldn't have to be properly chastised by the Liz Cheney's of the world...ugh...seeing truth coming out of her mouth stings...

One, and I mean 1, thought on relationships with black men...

Apparently, everyone is talking about this. I'm sorry this isn't more interesting....I'm soooo over the staid and over referenced conversation but I feel the need to address the video since I brought it up --- oh regret regret!!!

I've read blog after blog after blog discussing this woman and the situation(?) in general (might be why i'm tired of it?). One guy was pretty funny(on second thought - it wasn't funny), suggesting that facial hair is the cause of the chasm between men and women in the community. Everybody I know has mentioned it or forwarded me the video about "Ms. Trauma", as I am calling her - and by everyone I mean, all my black girlfriends(wink).

Ms. Trauma has issues. She is the 'problem' that every black man talks about. Ugh. She is the voice for nothing and no one except the population of people who would benefit from therapy....!

Watching the evil John Yoo on Stewart -- can't concentrate...BRB!

Whoa, disingenuous. America doesn't torture -- didn't torture(?) sigh.

Anyway,

My brief thoughts on a conversation that seems strangely irrelevant and narcissistic in the face of the reality of world hardships...you know, starvation, xenaphobia, war, death and such.

1. Why the hell aren't we more angry that we KNOW that generation after generation of black males are being preempted from having an education as early as the age of 6...? I mean, isn't it the real reason the numbers are 12/1?? I mean aren't these our sons?!?!?!

2. According to the law of a dwindling commodity [yeeeah I made that up]...doesn't this mean that black men (super in demand already) will be able to act as immature and arrogant and privileged as they like without any apparent consequences? [My co-workers response to this information, arms over his head, fist balled, he declares, "I am the SHIT!"] And what happens when our men are no longer 'required' to remain monogamous? Or do the hard work of relationships because they can just hop and skip to the next woman who will take whatever they can get...(kinda like some of them are doing now). Now that I think about it, my co-worker is "the Shit"...he is educated, tall, handsome, financially stable -- and doesn't date black women (little punch in the kidney for ya...so you can sleep of course). Back to my point, what happens when we out number them 12 to 1!

Eternal immaturity?

Ultimately unfulfilling relationships?

Further weakening of communal ties

because of an increasing focus on the self over the family?

I duuno - Can't tell the future...possible futures??? [nerd moment]

Before I get yelled at -- many will choose to the mature path and they know that ultimate fulfillment and expression of masculinity lies in honesty and commitment -- but...the majority won't - commence the yelling.

Ultimately, if you know me, you already know that I think this is an over simplification of an important historic moment regarding gender roles and the significance of marriage in relationship to those drastically changing roles....Hmmmm, short and sweet - - let's see....basically this...most of those women (you know the 30 year marriage, sacrifice for family over self, etc etc.) would have been out the door if they could have had a real education, been able to have property in their names, been able to keep custody of their children, would not have been ostracized from their community, been able to keep their last names, been able to have a bank account with their name, etc etc etc -- all the things we take for granted now..my grandmother never had access to.

Now we do. So we can leave. They couldn't. Simple. Done.

TG!

Read it -

http://www.childrensdefense.org/child-research-data-publications/data/cradle-prison-pipeline-summary-report.pdf

A quick reflect on the Nigerian Terrorist...

So you mean to tell me that all I had to do to get my wonderful French crunchy butter on the dam plane was to stick it in some special underwear?

Really?

a bomb but not butter...

I mean, you can't make this stuff up...the stupidity is astounding.

Why are so many Black woman single?

So I'm going to post this to start the conversation. Watch it, think it over and don't cry...

....just thinking....

Today, I ran across this poem I sat aside almost a year ago, it was like finding a twenty in my jeans pocket:

Show me the suffering of the most miserable;

So I will know my people's plight.

Free me to pray for others;

For you are present in every person.

Help me take responsibility for my own life;

So that I can be free at last.

Grant me courage to serve others;

For in service there is true life.

Give me honesty and patience;

So that the Spirit will be alive among us.

Let the Spirit flourish and grow;

So that we will never tire of the struggle.

Let us remember those who have died for justice;

For they have given us life.

Help us love even those who hate us;

So we can change the world.

Amen.
prayer of the farm workers' struggle - césar e. chávez

I am aware that reading poetry is boring. Full disclosure? Sorry Tasha (and you knew this), I think reading poetry is boring for the most part, unless it is Pablo Neruda....oh the onion poem is divine!! But this one touched me. I read every single line wishing that the people who governed for us, supervised over us, loved and befriended us would take it into their hearts and make real those thoughts and feelings that express the inherent divinity that is concerned first with those around us and then the self. I suppose what I mean by all of this is that, honestly, I hate my boss. Incompetent, spiteful, bitter, discriminating old woman.

NYC, you're so pale.

Today was full of moments when you thought you were putting your boots on firm well trodden concrete; only to find your foot submerged in five inches of ink black icy water.

Free Wifi...fighting for it...

Well, my life is always a metaphor.

What that means is I rarely have to look outside of my own life experiences to get a very clear message of what God is saying to me - yes, God - capital G-o-d.

Yes, yes on most days it's some kinda universal theory I'm comfortable with but you and I both know when the chips are down and your life is in danger, it's that omnipresent power you go looking for to save you....

a quick reversion to God the Father?

Well, my lesson is that blessings will come but you will have to fight for them...

I just couldn't get out of Europe without a story...read on dear reader,

So yesterday, homegirl and I, in a moment of proactive clarity called around and checked prices....we settled on Super shuttle....another cab decided to show anyway....

this guy decided to hold my luggae hostage until we paid him twenty euros...

no worries Brooklyn pried his hands off and jumped in the cab... aiee my wifi time is up....

stay tuned....

pray for safe travels...

Happy Birthday to me....

I have been 31 for 1:41 minutes.

I turned 31 a few days ago though. By that I mean, I have spent the last few months confronting my past, my fears and fears of my past and thus my future. I explained early morning a few days ago that the importance of a hajj or travel isn't the destination - my most favorite thing in the world..arriving, that is, to a warm home, or dinner, or anywhere where I can take my shoes off and eat something sweet -- the important thing is to remove your self and spirit from the weight of the everyday. To get your mind focused on the singular purpose of survival, finding the train, speaking French, seeing if they have that dress in your size. Rinse off your feet, anoint your self with oil and see what you should be doing with your god-given talents.

Opps. Did I get too serious?

I have been in Paris letting my shoulders feel the absent weight of stress. To feel relief from worry, and the low self-esteem, and the bank account limit, and the non-inspiring job, and the lack of a love life. I've been in Paris looking around and being inspired and loved and inspired and pushed and stepped on and hugged (not kissed :() and spoiled and cared for and stared at and ignored and fed and cajoled and dam my feet hurt!

But since I didn't have on my everyday, 'woe is me' sunglasses (free with the daily self-degradation pills) I ended up seeing me.

Me.

And let me tell you - I'm a lot thinner than I thought - (and my boobs are perkier too - look out nysc, the towel is coming off!!!) it might be because now my shoulders aren't slouched anymore or stuck right underneath my ears in an attempt to remained balanced as my head and heart are alternately filled to capacity with anger and apathy.

Thinner.

It's nice. I'm going to look so fly.