Monday, January 11, 2010

One, and I mean 1, thought on relationships with black men...

Apparently, everyone is talking about this. I'm sorry this isn't more interesting....I'm soooo over the staid and over referenced conversation but I feel the need to address the video since I brought it up --- oh regret regret!!!

I've read blog after blog after blog discussing this woman and the situation(?) in general (might be why i'm tired of it?). One guy was pretty funny(on second thought - it wasn't funny), suggesting that facial hair is the cause of the chasm between men and women in the community. Everybody I know has mentioned it or forwarded me the video about "Ms. Trauma", as I am calling her - and by everyone I mean, all my black girlfriends(wink).

Ms. Trauma has issues. She is the 'problem' that every black man talks about. Ugh. She is the voice for nothing and no one except the population of people who would benefit from therapy....!

Watching the evil John Yoo on Stewart -- can't concentrate...BRB!

Whoa, disingenuous. America doesn't torture -- didn't torture(?) sigh.


My brief thoughts on a conversation that seems strangely irrelevant and narcissistic in the face of the reality of world know, starvation, xenaphobia, war, death and such.

2. According to the law of a dwindling commodity [yeeeah I made that up]...doesn't this mean that black men (super in demand already) will be able to act as immature and arrogant and privileged as they like without any apparent consequences? [My co-workers response to this information, arms over his head, fist balled, he declares, "I am the SHIT!"] And what happens when our men are no longer 'required' to remain monogamous? Or do the hard work of relationships because they can just hop and skip to the next woman who will take whatever they can get...(kinda like some of them are doing now). Now that I think about it, my co-worker is "the Shit"...he is educated, tall, handsome, financially stable -- and doesn't date black women (little punch in the kidney for you can sleep of course). Back to my point, what happens when we out number them 12 to 1!

Eternal immaturity?
Ultimately unfulfilling relationships?
Further weakening of communal ties
because of an increasing focus on the self over the family?
I duuno - Can't tell the future...possible futures??? [nerd moment]
Before I get yelled at -- many will choose to the mature path and they know that ultimate fulfillment and expression of masculinity lies in honesty and commitment -- but...the majority won't - commence the yelling.

Ultimately, if you know me, you already know that I think this is an over simplification of an important historic moment regarding gender roles and the significance of marriage in relationship to those drastically changing roles....Hmmmm, short and sweet - - let's see....basically this...most of those women (you know the 30 year marriage, sacrifice for family over self, etc etc.) would have been out the door if they could have had a real education, been able to have property in their names, been able to keep custody of their children, would not have been ostracized from their community, been able to keep their last names, been able to have a bank account with their name, etc etc etc -- all the things we take for granted grandmother never had access to.

Now we do. So we can leave. They couldn't. Simple. Done.


Read it -

1 comment:

  1. oh my goodness you certainly have a point. The song is the same (by Ms. Trauma) and many people are still singing it while not going past that and challenging the notions that we must do better. <-- period. 'The shit' could stand to see what his impact will have on the role of family in this society (& future societies) & this will further the divide that is there but is on the 'things-that-should-not-be-mentioned list' sorta like earwax and good hair. Oops, someone let that cat out the bag...