Tuesday, May 31, 2011

How My Mother Influenced Me to Become a Sex Worker

That's a hell of a title (and not mine!!). Interesting blog to check out. She is truly challenging my notions of feminism and the idea of true ownership of ones own body - free to be a prostitute...#nonjudgmental?

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

That's Sexist....

Well uhm...I was having a crappy right, and so I was going through my blog list kinda with a fine toothed comb cuz I was bored. So I came across this old article while I was clicky clicking....The one by slim thug...you heard about that one? Black women need to stand by their man more??

yeeahhhh anyway -- it wasn't so much his ignorance that was frightening, I was not surprised, but the comments in response to his stupid article...heart stopping and tear inducing.

Tanishia says: Cookie you could not have said it no better because it was things that he said that I was like ok full of shit. but I do think that some of the things that he said about us black woman is true. like we should treat our black man like Kings. Im a black woman and I know right from wrong. I do everthing my man say because I know he would not tell me something wrong. I also have a father and he always said do what your man say, but if it ever come a time when you feel like what he say do is wrong show him the door. but there is one thing I do thats not right, as soon as my man make me mad I get talking and talking at the mouth. and i never liked it when a black man said that black women talk to much and dont know when to close they mouth but I was only mad because I was one of them. And know that I try not to say to much when Im mad and do what he need me to do Im happy. But dont get it fucked up Im a women that have rules too, and yes he have to go by some of them or he can find the door. At the end of the day man do come before women. they have more rule and we do have to go by them well if you want to keep a real back man u will do what he say or a white woman will end up with them. And to all the black man that dont do they job as a real man should. here is something they should know. Its a man job to please your women, make her feel good inside so that she would please you like a king. if you dont take care of her then you will be unhappy too and by your self. Im a real black women and my black man put me in a house and I made it his home. He put some food in the house and I cook him a good black meal. If he take me somewhere I act like his lady should. be hide close doors He give me good love I say yes daddy and thank as he thank me and just keep looking good for him. and with all that said you will find peace, love, and joy in a all black house hold.

If you can't find the scary combinations of sexism and being uneducated then I can't help you.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Gay conservatives/Black conservatives....

Quick thought: I have posted elsewhere about the strange demand on black people to accept gay marriage just because they are black. In fact there is a subtle demand that "because blacks faced (and continue to face) racial discrimination in recent history" that they are MORE obligated than others to support LGBT rights....

Obviously this is erroneous racist. Moving on...
This morning on NPR Brian Lehrer recapped his show on Gay conservatives. There was an indept debate about Gay conservatives and the reason why they did not support Gay marriage, why they were fiscally conservative, and why they supported republican candidates for the last two presidential elections.

That got me to thinking...Why haven't black conservatives been given the same forum? Why haven't they been allowed to say - "I am black and I do not support gay marriage because it goes against my beliefs and I am allowed to hold believes that don't support your cause"?  This, I believe, is the harm in the apprpriated someone elses experience of discrimination as a example of why your own discrimnation is wrong.  Black conservatives deserve the ability to express the reasoning and cause of their views and they are held up as the worse kind of hypocrites because of the fight to eradicate Slavery and Jim Crow. I have seen them respresented as the worse kind of uneducated and backwards people. Have we seen the same charicature of Gay conservatives? I think not...(Dog wistle)

I am guilty of this myself. I must admit that as a person of color I felt a overwhelming responsibility to support and allie myself to groups fighting for civil rights because I knew the faulsity of dicrimnation first hand. But I am now rethinking this...

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Common can't come to the white house???

So have you heard about the hubub about Common being (dis)invited to the White House??? Republicans are pissed because of the content of his lyrics in the poem he is supposed to perform "Letter to the Law"...a letter to cops...sooo you have some idea of what he says. 

I kinda agree with the Republicans on this one - if only they weren't masking a blob of racism behind their calls for concern and fairness about what the white house represents.

Common has the right to say what he wants - in this case he is speaking truth to power about the oppressive regime that the police around the country (the world?) rain onto people of color and other groups that are perceived as politically powerless and less able to protect themselves from their corruption - but he has to be responsible for what he says. The white house represents all of us and I would hate for the bush white house to be allowed to invite a person who openly says negative things about the groups that I inhabit (as if they would care about my feeling and dems would bother to do anything about it).

I wish that this move would be a herald of republicans stating that they too will now be responsible for the things that come out of their months and things that are presented in their news media -- like 'accidently' putting Obama dead instead of Osama dead...

But it isn't. They are just as disingenuous as ever spewing and whipping their racism about without consequence...while we sit around laughing at Lisa Lampanelli's (harmless) jokes....

Thursday, May 5, 2011

What I'd do to keep my man...

I just got finished reading the comments of the Black.Bougie Blog. Funtimes. In the comments of one post, one of the women stated that her husband told her he wouldn't leave her if she 1. Got a weave 2. Wore more makeup 3. Lost twenty pounds *sideeye...

I have been privy to male family members who have made the same demands of their wives, even though they themselves didn't fit the requirements they were demanding. Shaking my head. As shocking as this may seem, as I have mentioned before, some of it it is the perception of a rare commodity in finding a black man in America who wants to be married. Mark my words, I said 'perception' - all good women know that behind the sequins and big booties, a good woman is harder to find than a vintage Chanel bag at goodwillnyc!

Anyhoo -- after setting my inner feminist aside I realized that I would considered giving into these demands (in theory).  Obviously this man is selfish and superficial - but one likes what one likes. I, however, fully refuse to engage in such tortures by myself. I'm supposed to just deliver this magnificent change to you like a present?

I think not.

So say a nice cheery Saturday morning, we grab his Amex and head out on our first stop...What was that? Ahh yes the weave. I have seen this thing done and lord help you - it's like wearing a fuzzy hat that you can't take off...in all that heat?! The hair that we bought for my girls totaled around 470 or so. Then we would send the next 6 hours in the hair dresser, ending with the privilege of paying her 550$ for the service.

1200$ (Including tip)
-6 Hours

Whats next? Right make up...clearly we are going to MAC, Bergdorf would be better- but alas. We will need  day make up and night makeup...

500$ Makeover
-1 Hour

And lastly, we shall take a trip over to the gym. Mid price? NYSC. I prefer Reebok club or Equinox but let's be fair - I can deal with NYSC. We both need memberships since we will be working out together. Yup - I'm not getting sexy on my own and a six pack is never a bad thing :)

20 Pack personal training sessions
Monthly Membership
150 for two people

Never mind the misogyny of believing that it is your place to demand changes on your partner, never mind the superficial short sightedness that would allow you break up your long term marriage based on physical appearance, never mind presenting that demand as a threat - - do you have the longevity to make it though your request? I think not. Because I'm making you come to EVERY appointment - you will suffer for your choices right along with me. Ha. Give that Credit Card a work out because I'm not paying for a PENNY of it. Trust.

Just ridiculous. I can't.

See obviously that's my passive aggresive side coming out but the privelege and audacity and ignorance is just too much for me to bear. I can't belive that that man would want to deal with the time and energy it takes for little requests he just wants the benefit - selfish. He's leaving anyway (who else would come up with such a stupid ultimatum) but one should have fun while he's still there.

That's how you fry a fish two ways ladies.