Friday, February 19, 2010
The c: drive in my head has logged countless hours regretting gobs of crap. You mostly know them, they're mundane and esoteric and yes I will waste your time remarking on them
never mind I bored myself and erased them.
Anyhoo -- the big regrets, like not getting perfect 4.0 GPA in school (any school) when I had the potential to do so, or getting a masters for the hell of it and now having massive loans to repay instead of buying pretty shoes, or uhm certain boyfriends, or blue suede kneeboots - it's like roll call for me, depending on my mood I have a whole que prepared for it...so deep stormy introspective days lends themselves to regretting not being more commited to social justice work and light spring days bring up the regret of not being skinnier or dressed funkier and not having enough money and not working hard enough at school to have more money and...well you see where this is going....yes?
But today, as I sat at my desk, regretting that I wasn't completing more work my eyes got a little rinsing and I saw that flip side of all of my regrets. I thought, dam it, just live your life. Stop thinking that life is a mirror that shouldn't have any smudges on it. No, I didn't study [or as rice would say -- put my seat in a seat] - I hung out with friends and now have a great community of cool folks to draw from - I watched hours international films and discovered a love of international cultures, etc etc...
All I'm saying is that on the other side of the truth/regret was always some great big smudge that I had a blast smearing on. I lived my frickin life and thats what we're supposed to do. In fact, I'm going out tonight and planning a big butt print of a smudge and I'm going to enjoy doing it.
No regrets, not anymore.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
MAYER: …I am a very…I’m just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can’t handle very, then I’m a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That’s why black people love me. [Emphasis mine]
PLAYBOY: Because you’re very?
MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, “What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?” And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’”
PLAYBOY: It is true; a lot of rappers love you. You recorded with Common and Kanye West, played live with Jay-Z.
MAYER: What is being black? It’s making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that’s seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you’ll die inside. Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude’s.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
I swear correct grammar has been the bane of my existence, the cause of my mediocrity; I may be succumbing to the dramatic possibly but the emotional tie is no less real. I never understood what those little red circles and slashes meant. Their only point -- to make me feel horrible and utterly unable to communicated a coherent idea...
Well, I triumphed today. In a year that has been filled with self-doubt, self- revelation, self- just ugh a bright spot appeared...
I read the Time's grammar blog and was able to spot and correct the commonly made mistake. A common occurrence for you - a magnificent moment of self-awareness for me!!
Andrew Clark, a geneticist who works on the Y chromosome at Cornell University, said the Y’s fast turnover of DNA could effect the activity of genes throughout the genome, because just such an effect has been detected in laboratory fruit flies.
it's the small things, let me have a moment :)
and how quickly do those moments of triumph last? but moments my dear. moments.
Can someone tell me what *ell this sentences means????
Researchers at the University of Aberdeen found that when people were asked to engage in a bit of mental time travel, and to recall past events or imagine future ones, participants’ bodies subliminally acted out the metaphors embedded in how we commonly conceptualized the flow of time.
What metaphor is embedded in how we conceptualized the flow of time? WHAT......???? Ugh - going to lunch.
** out to lunch **