Thursday, October 14, 2010

my own words...or hers...who i don't know...i need help with this* -- *a.k.a EVERYTHING


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TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 14, 2010


Y/N/M?

I think I owe you guys a more personal post. A tale told through photos, links, and words.

I don't post personal stuff because I'm not 11 and don't have the need to express my feelings to anyone who will listen. It's also no one's business who I love, who I make rad fake babies with or who I wish would scram forever (even though I soooo want to tell you those things sometimes).

But I used to post more about my social life which I don't anymore because as I get older it feels a little self-indulgent. Plus, who on earth aside from my family, besties and the guy I'm dating would care what I'm up to?

On the other hand, I can't just give you guys pieces of the Internet and give meaning to this blog, right?

those aren't even my own words. however they kicked that sore spot in the back of my ass that I've been trying to ignore. I've been ignoring this blog, like so many things on my life to do list...not because I met a man...or rather not just because I met a man...

I just can't get over my capacity for idleness. I once (during unemployment) wanted to see how long I could stay in the house and be perfectly content (with trips to the corner store for mike and ikes and root bear - frozen pizza fully stocked..you know it...) -- I should keep this to myself but four whole days people...four days...in a small one bedroom apt alone with my two cats...I could have gone longer...I just was embarrassed at how content I was...

that can't be positive. and I'm embarrassed to admit it, really, I embarrassed that I spent hours -- I repeat, hours watching tv, emailing, window shopping, eating junk food and periodically taking long lavender scented baths....I should have been a princess (not a queen because they have duties :))...

May I borrow some of your hustler energy...
,will you still be my friend even though I'm a slacker?
I should be reading a book a week, a non-fiction book..nothing with vampires, or delicious sex scenes with embarrassing bondage moments (shock face..tmi)...
I should have written my personal statement already...
I should do laundry every weekend...not drop it off...go DO it yourself....
I should cut the tv off at least an hour an evening...or at least watch channel 12...maybe just cut BRAVO off for a bit...?
shhh...Big bang theory is on..shall return..eventually.


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