Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Looking for a savior?

Charlie Sheen is a genius. How else could one get round the clock coverage like this for free? He had to destroy his life to make it happen but he has enough money to fix it, no? no pity...

I want to address his 'goddesses' though. Those world-weary, roughed-up teenagers he has watching his children...yes, watching his twin boys...someone tell me why he even has (partial) custody of his kids?? Suspect...

The really dusty one looks up at him this morning on ABC and says lovingly into the camera "I respect him as the leader of his house, I listen to him"...

Now - you know where I'm going with this one...smh

Now I give lip service to the idea that people (women) have every right to choose whatever subjugated role that they feel comfortable in -- HOWEVER, when that man is at the living room table snorting 7g of coke up his nose then maybe, no judgement, maybe you should rethink your idea of what 'respecting your man' looks like. I'm just saying - isn't he the casebook reason that the christocentric hierarchical patterns of family structure that support patriarchy are a BAD idea?? I'm just saying.

Ms. Lady states,
"I respect Charlie as a man and I respect him as head of this household and trust him completely," she added. "If there's something I think is a little bad of an idea, I might say, ‘Babe, lets think about it this way.' It works. The system works for us."

Indeed it does. Indeed it does.

Oh wait...And here are the black girls saying the same stupid shit in response to a black man staying the same stupid shit. (the comments are priceless)

from the whittest..
What I do think is necessary to be said is that EVERYONE needs to read this article. Just as a man need to be the clear leader, women need to allow themselves to be lead. In this day (although I’m a fairly young 21 yr old), the culture does not foster strong women who rule the world yet allow their husbands be leaders in their marriages. If I’ve learned nothing else from my grandmother and mother about marriage, I’ve learned that a married woman’s goal is to help make her husband’s leadership as easy as possible and to activity try to make his vision reality.

This guy warms my heart and puts women who claim that what it means to be a wife has anything to do with what the misguided sister above states in a tough position of having to explain their own internal desire to be subjugated.

from moodindigo...
Yes, there will be tough decisions with tough consequences. But I believe that the expectation that the husband leads comes from a worldview in which the man is the leader and as someone else said, that’s okay for some people.

I’m looking for a woman with a similar worldview as my own. My view is that as two grown adults we should be able to find a compromise. We should commit to that. And that’s a quality I strive to grow in and that’s an essential trait I’m looking for in a woman. And to be clear, compromise doesn’t always involve one decision but the choice of many and in that you can often find a middle ground. What I love about the process is that it forces you to communicate with each other, forces you to listen, which help builds the marriage. If the decision is truly about what’s best for the family and not what I or she wants, then we should be able to find a middle ground when we get to the heart of the issue.

There are some dealbreakers – hopefully we’ve been honest with each other upfront about them before saying “I do.” And yes there will be apparent dealbreakers that develop over the marriage because people change over time. But you’re committing to the person for who they become for the rest of your life (excluding unhealthy/abusive ish), not just who they are right now.

I think the leadership model has issues when two people do not share similar worldviews. And people can arrive at differences even when initially they were eye to eye. For example, what happens when two devoted Christians are married but later the husband becomes an athiest or agnostic – not just backslidden – but doesn’t believe in Christ at all. It happens. Does the wife still trust the husband’s lead? The only way for this marriage to survive is through compromise – which ultimately takes love – the laying down of yourself for the sake of your family.


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