Monday, March 14, 2011

Sigh..if only I had known...

What would I have done with 200 bucks this morning if I had known someone was going to steal it (and my vintage coach purse)?

Would I have given it to him?

Or her?

Sure I would have.... - some of it?

Then I would have had lunch here...
Le Bernadine
and I would have eaten...this....

but mostly I could have finally purchased these....
Camilla Skovgaard - Tassel Heel Suede Ankle Boot
Obviously it's meaningless, that 200 hundred dollars I cried over...

Tsunami in Japan from Jean Labelle on Vimeo.

that coach bag -
As I had my head posted on the empty popcorn counter, my body racked with sobs, I realized that that money meant everything and nothing at the very same time (if a tree falls  in the forest and no one hears it...).

The metro card, the IDs, the special (saved for) wallet, the unique irreplaceable purse; as the tears flowed other stuff came out too - the impending admission/rejection letters from schools, the stupid rent, the expensive birthday that cleared my account, missing my mom but gently interrupting this stream of confusion, fear and uncertainty there was a gentle pressure on my back from my friend. The simple pats were almost rhythmic, disallowing me to sink too deep, reminding me that I was right here, right now, and there were things that I needed to do and get done. I'm astounded at the meaning that people bring to your life, how they buffer you in these moments of minor tragedy, the aftermath, the afteraftermath.  I love the surrealness of realizing that something can both mean everything to you and nothing in the grand scheme of the world. The feeling has a weightless quality. People are missing so much more than a purse right now, they would be joyful to just miss a purse with a few trifles in it...

but it still meant something to me.

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