I still have my 'niggas ain't shit' post written and saved.
My heart wasn't in it.
I'm newly single, dating and having a great fucking time. I know now that women are crazy...but shit if these dudes don't have problems. pro.bl.ems.
One recent date, we're calling him BB or candles, had captured my attention. He was skinny, smart, a painter with beautiful hands (I have a bit of an obsession with man hands....healthy fingers *wink) and he works in the non-profit world. When I say 'captured my attention' I mean I kissed him on the second date (big moves for me *prude alert!) and lord Jesus - smh- skills people - no details though :). Now I should have known something was wacky because when we first met at the Speakeasy. He was chatting and randomly we got on the subject of why all his girls become 'friends'[bitch FLAG awaving]. But I'm focused (on his lips) and love digging for buried treasure so I put that aside ( I mean, women have left good men on the showroom floor before - or so the myth goes) and kept it moving.
Date three? Obsession aside let's get to the meat...he spent a great deal of time talking about himself. Now, clue 1 you're in trouble with me? I have on my gentle voice (sticky sweet and alluring like that siren chick crashing ships) and I'm asking you how you felt about whatever you just revealed....that's my work voice. If my work voice is on it because I'm starting suspect that your ass is crazy...but your dumb ass is going to keep talking...
I asked 'candles' what did he like to do for fun. He replies[and this is where the fun is] he likes to pamper himself - get some candles, put on some Sade and take a bubble bath. (pause) a bubble bath.
It may sound like I'm being a frozen concrete bitch but as a feminist who rejects reified gender roles - but in my house you can't be a bitch. That is a horrible contradiction. Can we just look at it as a place where I need some growth??? Forgive me. I suppose that I could have moved on from this quirk except that he already mentioned that he cries, that his last girlfriend dumped him because 'she needed to be with someone stronger than herself' and when she dumped him outside of his kids school - yes, he cried.
Now I have processed what it means to be a feminist and think this guy is a bitch. I have reconciled my contradiction by recognizing two things. The first is that the vagina [aka miss patty] decides who she is going to be happy with and, barring abuse; if she isn't happy, I'm not happy. Politics be dammed. The second realization I had is that I don't respect, what I identify as, weakness in either sex. It frustrates me and I avoid people who complain and don't stick shit out as a general rule. Everyone in my circle is a hard worker, a survivor, and committed to making 'it' happen. I don't see that in this guy. So I'm pulling out the instinct card to avoid getting placed in the judgemental bitch category - (chuckle) - hope that side shuffle worked.
But I had a good fucking time. I swear. Whose next!!!
( I already met him - but one on one date hasn't happened yet...fun tiimmmmmessss)