Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Compramise and Chili the demanding....and hangnails

Alright I said I had no extra words - I lied. I just need to take a mental walk to get away from the tedium of repeatedly answering the same question over and over.

My mind keeps drifting over to the episode of What Chili Wants that I watched (dvr!) last night.

(head cocked thoughtfully)

In my polling of folks thoughts about the show, I feel comfortable stating I may be the only person (man or woman) on Chili's side. Obviously, as a reality TV show, the premise and interest in the show rest on the natural or outrageous flaw of the star of the show -- think drinking and showing her panties in Snookie -- and Chilli's 'flaw' is that she wants too much, that she is too demanding....

Well, I don't see the dam problem, I thought all of those dudes were whacked out.  I would have rejected all of them last season and this season is just no comment as of yet.

But my central question is this: How do you know when you are asking for too much?

I ask this because I feel like my list, though vastly different, mimics the length or intensity of Chili's.  So am I asking for too much? I mean, let's be real, I know how to compromise and have done so on many occasions, personally, professionally and in know that...but it sucks the MOST in I dunno why.

I was thinking this afternoon about certain situations [it was the lunchtime debate]-- like, what if you get 70% of what you that where you are supposed to suck everything else up? or is it 55%?  85%? Granted I know you want to answer that everyone has to choose where they feel comfortable but that's bullshit -- the way that Chili and other women like her are being judged there clearly is a societal line between having standards and being too demanding -- what is it???

Sometimes when I am in the rare position of having everything I want (76% not 80% - Why did I get married reference) it only magnifies the things I am not getting. It's like when you run your finger tip over your nail and hit that tiny bitty hang nail - you are not thinking, "boy, the rest of my nail is so smooth" you go about getting rid of that hang nail - that is what you focuson until you get rid of it, no? It's the reason why we picks scabs!! They are marring our smooth skin, they aren't suppose to be there!! Well, I pick at my scabs anyway, maybe you are more disciplined than I am.

Alright: you tell me if I'm asking for too much, I'ma tell the truth too...

Tall* or taller than me, ethical, nice hands*, creative*, kind, romantic, adventurous, wants to travel, wants a family, wants to be married, integrity, ambitious, assertive, good kisser, sexually adventurous, curious about life, mature, comfortable with emotions, emotionally expressive, thoughtful, compromising, loving, physically expressive, attractive or attentive to one's appearance if one is ugly, masculine, loyal and protective of love ones(and me).

This isn't exhaustive, I'm sure -- Tell me what I forgot (stars* are things I think I will compromise on) and then tell me if I'm asking for too  much -- I can handle critique (in theory). I get the sense that I need to figure this out since I'm in full dating mode right?? ;) Help!

1 comment:

  1. Let’s see where shall I begin (sips coffee)...
    #1- reference to why did I get married (80%) LMAO hilarious...
    #2- "it's the reason why we pick scabs" - oh how true it is...<- wont go there yet
    The way I see it call it preferences, prejudices, being picky, demanding or just having plain standards is definitely a prerogative of every individual SOOOO 'they' (the folks in society who are obviously judging such things) have them too. Just cause possibly more people align themselves to those ideals- does that make them right? The norm, maybe- but I mean really they are probably the same folks who would take away a black card or question ones feminist position (I’m just saying/ sorry digressed)...
    YOU- all the things you listed seem 'normal' & not too much- BUT are they things you are willing to do yourself (in the sense that kind, romantic, emotionally expressive are things the date/mate is looking for? You list you are willing to compromise on some things does that mean go without them if said partner don’t have them OR acquire them if said date wants them traits?) It doesn’t seem like you have a book filled with 967 things he “must” do/have or it’s a deal breaker (gasp!) or are just so-set-in-your-ways that you won’t ever bend (flexibility is key) but really does it matter? IF you want/need/desire & want to mate with a
    “Tall ethical nice handed creatively kind…man then so be it.” Who are we to be scrutinitious <- yes I know that is not a word.

    <3 you!