My palms are all sweaty. That space between my eyeballs is all puckered, no doubt setting the groundwork for future winkles - well folds rather - because I plan on being fat, like all black matriarchs (on TV). I keep taking deep sighing breaths trying to allay the uneasiness in my stomach.
Tomorrow is the day. The day I send in my first application and subsequently begin to pretend that it doesn't matter. It's not my favorite school - so what? But it matters, it says everything about what I can do in the future with the mistakes of past still weighing me down. Redemption and growth is not a free pass to an empty backpack, it just makes the weight more comfortable.
You can forgive yourself for that anonymous group encounter back in the day (last week?) but that std will still itch...yuck, you see what I mean though.
I'm itching then, will I get relief?