Friday, January 28, 2011

Last thoughts on MSW....

growing growing grown.

As you know, MSW was kicked to the curb unceremoniously a couple of weeks ago. After I abruptly canceled our date I received a voicemail from him the following Wednesday. Now I don't listen to voicemails - text is the only way for me.

I can't exactly pinpoint my annoyance with voicemail. They are so slow and convoluted. With a text message we get to the point and quickly. I appreciated the briefness of a text. The ease in response. And with emoticon what can't you communicate this way?? Nothing! Seems logical to me -- we don't need voice mail anymore...its a relic of the past!

Anyhow, last night the ex- mentioned that I should be over my aversion to voicemail because we now have visual voicemail. Point taken -- being able to see who I am not listening to is very helpful, additionally; I can better ignore voicemail because I can see you called and know how important the call was based on how long you talked...(this does not work for moms because the 5 minute voicemails she regularly sends me are just butt dials)... so when I deleted the latest butt dial from Leah I noticed a 1 min and 36 sec voicemail from MSW...

Curious...this is a significant entry. I vacillated between listening and not -- listening won out. This was definitely not a throw away dude - honestly, it was very sweet. He noted that he knew that he probably would not hear from me again (true), that he would have called me sooner but his grandfather had died and he was in Jamaica (the never call again button had been hit long before the bout of no call, no show -- but pffff) but hopefully I'd get the message that I was wonderful and unique (hmm lovely words - put that in my pocket for a rainy low self-esteem day) and should we never talk again I should know he thinks that of me.

Beautiful, no?

I almost called him. Ugh, guilty for not calling during a crisis (he was there for me with mine). Yet I am certain romance was not in the cards - no time to depatriarch anyone. But had I been a younger women-- oh wait I did that ALL through my twenties..right right.. I almost forgot getting men to grow up and be accountable was a fucking vocation that I have left far behind -- that shit will age you.

I think this demonstrated a maturity in myself that I had not noted previously. Honestly, five years ago I would have either tried to make it work or known it would not have worked but done it anyway for shits and giggles. Seriously I don't mean just hang out with a known non-congruity like 7 seris - fun and monied but too dumb to take seriously. I mean how 'can we be together' make it work. To be able to toss out a pretty okay guy who just wouldn't fit longterm is cool. I was swayed to ignore the baby gut by the graduate degree; and the slight leaning toward sexism (90% of 'em have it to some degree...98%) by his ability to fully express his emotions and a healthy and mature interaction with his sizable ego.

Now you over there on 8th street I see you -- questioning -- but did you hop so easily because the ex had showed up? I will tell you the same thing I said to the silent questioning of d.c... I had already made the decision and begun implementation prior. I will admit however that it made the paracute ride much smoother. (smile)

Definitely going to file him away in the positive memories section (although that might not be recipricated).

Off to convince someone to have friday afterwork skip the gym and wobbly instead... have a great weekend!

1 comment:

  1. uhh hmmmm.... but what i ESPECIALLY love is the way you sum up your career change:

    *But had I been a younger women-- oh wait I did that ALL through my twenties..right right.. I almost forgot getting men to grow up and be accountable was a fucking vocation that I have left far behind -- that shit will age you*

    that is genius!!